Then for a time she forgot the Fadden affair altogether. She heard this standard expression of a strong soul wrung with a critical coldness that astonished herself. A broken laugh followed the action. I shall lose my fees and the laced coat. He fell backwards on his butt, the wind knocked out of him. Flattened flowers aren’t for the likes of us. “My dear child,” he said, “with me you need have no apprehension. ” “I haven’t told any one the amount,” he went on. When I have traversed the streets a houseless wanderer, driven with curses from every door where I have solicited alms, and with blows from every gateway where I have sought shelter,—when I have crept into some deserted building, and stretched my wearied limbs upon a bulk, in the vain hope of repose,—or, worse than all, when, frenzied with want, I have yielded to horrible temptation, and earned a meal in the only way I could earn one,—when I have felt, at times like these, my heart sink within me, I have drank of this drink, and have at once forgotten my cares, my poverty, my guilt. But the morning brought courage again, and those first intimations of horror vanished completely from her mind. ’ Gerald frowned in an effort of memory, and then laughed as he recalled one of the lies she had invented for his benefit.
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